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| animalcentral.net |
“I am
insensitive, I have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that I
need. Sometimes I drink too much,
sometimes I test your trust, sometimes I don't know why you stay with me. I'm hard to love, hard to love, no, I don't
make it easy. I couldn't do it if I
stood where you stood. I'm hard to love,
hard to love, you say that you need me, I don't deserve it but I love that you
love me, girl.”
Codependence is an emotional defense system set up to protect our
wounded inner child from the shame of being exposed as unlovable and unworthy, stupid and weak, a loser and failure, or whatever
message we received. We were taught how to
determine our own self-worth by comparing ourselves to others. Am I “smarter
than, prettier than, faster than, richer than, more successful than, thinner
than, stronger than,” you get the picture?
In a codependent society
the only way to feel good about “me”
is to look down on someone else. Thus we
learned to judge (just as our primary
caretakers did) others in order to feel good about ourselves. Being “right”
was one of the most important ways to know that “I have worth.”
The state of our
relationships in our society is going through a metamorphosis as we relax
into the tension of change and flux, compliments
of Uranus squaring Pluto. Moving from the dysfunctional mode of “power
over another” into a state of “sharing
power with another” is going to take time.
Coming into the 4th of 5 New
Moons at 21 degrees we are but
one month away from the completion of this particular cycle of shedding an emotional skin.
I can’t think of a more
appropriate symbol for this transition period than the symbol for the upcoming Chinese New Year, the year of the Snake.
It’s time to shed! The snake
sheds its skin on a regular basis and is temporarily blinded as it goes through
the process. Aquarius is an Air sign
and the Aquarius symbol is of a woman pouring water from the heavens onto
the Earth. As above, so below and this year we are focusing on “as within, so without.” That’s the big Cosmic Joke. From
this point forward the work we do will be done “within,” slow, steady sensible and practical!
Posers, players, pranksters and banksters can only succeed when we continue responding in the
traditional dysfunctional manner. The New Moon is in multi-dimensional Aquarius @
21 degrees, which is ruled by Uranus
(surprise/serendipity) and Saturn (time/generations), our hosts of this event. Here’s the deal. It takes 6 months to 1 year to integrate a
new vibratory harmonic. We’re speaking
of Uranus square Pluto. A surprise is due for the new 1% who
currently are redefining the meaning of
wealth.
What if the word “wealth” meant, “to have something that money cannot buy,” and it defined the new 1%?
What would we call the 99%? Where
would you fall in the 47% of the US population that depends on the government
to take care of them? That changes the
whole equation. See, there we go again
comparing ourselves to someone else.
It’s a great big ole’ dis-function
(Pluto) to fill the pockets of the media companies (Uranus) to ensure that we continue our main diet of TV, smartphones and internet. They educate us through advertising and keep
us plugged into the mentality that there is something “out there” that will make “me
happy inside.” That’s an interesting
thought isn’t it? If I diss you I feel better about me. Perfect dysfunction!
Relationships of power (Scorpio) are based on someone being right OR wrong. There can’t be a winner without there being a loser. Handing over one’s power to someone else to make oneself happy is what we were taught as children. Remember the childhood fairy tales we were told? It’s a magic formula for writers; boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back and they ride off into the sunset, right? There was always a winner, a loser and a “happy ever after.” Happiness comes from within and our true wealth is happiness that cannot be purchased with money.
Relationships of power (Scorpio) are based on someone being right OR wrong. There can’t be a winner without there being a loser. Handing over one’s power to someone else to make oneself happy is what we were taught as children. Remember the childhood fairy tales we were told? It’s a magic formula for writers; boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back and they ride off into the sunset, right? There was always a winner, a loser and a “happy ever after.” Happiness comes from within and our true wealth is happiness that cannot be purchased with money.
Saturn is
our legacy and is sitting at 11 Scorpio preparing to Rx on the 18th,
which also just happens to be the degree of the upcoming November 3, 2013 New Moon Eclipse. We are laying a foundation for change in
November. It’s always a cycle within a
cycle and it’s time to shed some of our inhibitions
with the main guideline being to “do
no harm.” Life unfolds in stages.
Finding the balance between co-dependence
and counter-dependence is a “walk of art.” It takes conscious effort and a whole lot of
practice. Since we were all taught that “the relationship”
is the goal we have set ourselves up from the get-go to be disappointed
because someone else “can’t make me
happy.” Uh-oh!
It’s the race between what can’t be and what is emerging that is
unfolding before our very eyes. Since
there are so few examples of relationships that share power it’s no wonder many choose to fill their lives with
friendships and family as their source of full-fill-ment. Many
are happier being a whole person rather than half a couple! From 0
Aquarius to 8 Pisces there are 8 planets, lights and asteroids; Asteroid DNA, Venus, Mercury, Sun, Neptune,
Chiron, Mars and the New Moon. That
is a great deal of focus in Aquarius (multiple dimensions) and Pisces (mirrors).
“I am a short
fuse. I am a wrecking ball crashing into your heart like I do. You're like a Sunday morning full of grace
and full of Jesus. I wish that I could
be more like you. I'm hard to love, hard
to love, no, I don't make it easy. I
couldn't do it if I stood where you stood, I'm hard to love, hard to love. You say that you need me, I don't deserve it
but I love that you love me, girl. Love
me, girl.”
Mercury (listening), Mars (action) and Chiron (what I can’t give myself but I can give to you) in Pisces are going to bring a significant topic of discussion about
the changes that need to be made between “you
and me.” Depending on how
co-dependent we are functioning will determine the discussion between “you and me.” There’s a better than average chance that
many will be disappointed in the person/group/cause
that they handed their power over to and expected to find happiness in exchange
for giving the power away. We are not halves that cannot be whole without a relationship and
there is no goal to take us to “happily
ever after.”
The New Moon @ 21 Aquarius is at a very tense angle to the Nodes (Soul blueprint/comfort zone) @ 21
Scorpio (within)/Taurus (without), and Venus (my relationship to love & money) is
squaring Saturn (consequences for my actions). It’s time for us to begin recognizing the difference
between a healthy relationship and a toxic relationship. Physics require tension to make something
happen, to create movement, to change.
Everyone is now ready as we head toward the next and last New Moon at 21 Pisces next month. Shed!
If we weren’t taught what is real
and what is toxic, how do we
recognize it? Like you, I am very
familiar with toxic relationships and they are easy to spot when you know what
to look for.
A true relationship is the
development of a self- first priority while toxic relationships are the obsession
with “getting a relationship.” True relationships have room to grow and expand
but a toxic relationship finds security and comfort in sameness and this intensity
of need is seen as proof of love (read
the song lyrics again). If it’s real
we’re happy with
our different interests, friends and we maintain other meaningful relationships/friendships.
Toxic relationships are comprised of total
involvement with little or no other social life and we let old friends and
interests fall by the wayside.
Real
relationships encourage one another, trust one another, will compromise and
negotiate, you know, take turns. Toxic relationships don’t like change, are
jealous or possessive and one tries to control another through shame or blame. Sex is
a gift given in a real relationship, but a toxic relationship will pressure
another for it. Anyone who tries to manipulate (Scorpio) you by making you feel bad about yourself is very
toxic.
Our relationships with others are a reflection
of how we relate to self. It’s all part of the dysfunction and everyone
on this spaceship we call Earth suffers from one form of dysfunction
or another. If we don’t start facing it
and talking about it will take forever to heal ourselves. Pay attention this week because we will all
notice the tension building. We shed the
skin of dysfunction when we recognize that someone is affecting us.
If you find yourself feeling hurt, scared and
angry there are questions that need to be addressed. “What button just got pushed? Why am I reacting so strongly to this? How old do I feel right now? In what way does what is happening feel like
something that happened in my childhood?
How does this remind me of the way my parents acted or treated me?” All these questions lead us within, where we keep the truth
from others and ourselves at times. The
longest distance we will ever travel is the 18 inches from “head to heart.” Connect and shed! Balance!
I bring all of this to
your attention because for 5 months the Universe has been nudging us to make
changes in our point of view
to see how we have perpetuated the lie
(Scorpio) taught to us by multiple generations (Saturn). Next month all the planets will be in one sign
Pisces. Talk about the Universe squeezing us! The
news will be filled with all kinds of stories about the players, posers, pranksters and banksters who are trying to get
power or who are losing power. Who has
power over your life? The New Moon sets the tone for the coming 4
weeks, so ride the wave as best you can and please, please be kind to yourself
as you go through the process of shedding the dysfunction this month. Stop
comparing yourself to others! It’s
a no-win situation, I promise! Everybody’s
a winner when we are honest with self. All
our relationships are a reflection of the past in the present! Happy “NEW
YOU” Year!
“Girl, you've given me a million second chances and I don't ever wanna take you for granted, I'm just a man, I'm just a man. Hard to love, hard to love, oh, I don't make it easy and I couldn't do it if I stood where you stood. I'm hard to love, hard to love and you say that you need me. I don't deserve it but I love that you love me, girl. You love me, girl.”

All I can say is that was quite a fine read. I need to spend a week on your site.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
S
Thank you S! You made my day.....Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you!
Robin